So sorry that I couldn`t write you last week, I was pretty sick!! It turns out I had Rubella...who in the heck gets Rubella...I do!! I was stuck in the house for a whole week, which was fine for the first few days when I felt like dying, but on the 5th day I was feeling a lot better and anxious to get out of the house. I think I watched "The Best 2 Years" like 5 times! I`m feeling back to normal now and ready to work...I just never want Rubella ever again!! The Lord is watching out for me and I know I could have been a lot sicker than I was, so for that I am grateful!
As I was becoming sicker, our ward mission leader came and gave me a blessing. In the blessing he blessed me with the strength to not let this shake my faith. Which I was a little confused about...it wasn`t fun being sick, but I wasn`t bitter about it. But as I had a whole week to just sit and think, Satan got into my head, and we had a pretty good fight!! There were times where I felt so inadequate, so small and I questioned why I was here. It was pretty rough to tell you the truth. But this week I found strength and I only became closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior. I don`t think I have ever prayed so hard in my whole life. I felt like Enos as I had a wrestle before God, and kneeled before my maker day and night. I can`t think of time in my life when I have ever felt that low and worthless. But as I felt these feelings, I was able to come closer to my Savior. I was able to see my weakness and his strength. I was able to see that I didn`t have to feel this pain, if I would only humble myself and give it over to Christ he will willingly take the pain away. And I did just that, and I don`t think I`ve ever felt so perfectly happy. One day the pain left and the hole that was hurting me was filled with love and feelings of adequacy. How I love my Savior and the love he has for each and every one of us! Hardships are always turned into blessings. I didn`t let this sickness tear down my faith, it only built it stronger. My roots are just a little bit deeper and a little bit stronger. When you are struggling, humble yourselves and give your pain, your sorrows, your burden to him. He will willingly take it and fill the hole with love, with feelings of peace. Trust in your Savior, trust in him enough to give him everything and you will feel like a new person!!
I love you all and pray for you everyday! Thank you all for the birthday wishes, I`m celebrating my birthday by walking in the hot sun all day...wooooooo!!! ha Have a good week everyone!!
Con Mucho Amor,
P.S. Congrats Cluff Family!! Little Jayden is so precious!! Give him a big kiss for me, I can`t wait to meet that little guy!