Monday, January 12, 2015
I Know It, and I Know That God Knows It, and I Cannot Deny It
How are we all?? I hope you´re not as wet as we are here. It hasn't stopped raining in a week and even when its not raining, the sky starts misting and I feel like I´m constantly in a mist machine...its so weird! But I´m not complaining because its not hot! So I know you´re all dying to hear whose my new companion. Her name is Sister Zuñiga, and she´s from Obregón, Sonora. She barely turned 19 and I really feel like I´m caring for a baby. Shes not big into the getting down and dirty stuff, so shes having to do a little adjusting, but shes great and has a lot of energy for the work, so I´m excited to see what will happen this transfer.
So this week has been filled with ups and downs. Being a trainer is kind of hard at times, but so rewarding. I have been filled with the spirit this week that has led and guided me all week to have a pretty good week and to see a few investigators progress. But one experience has strengthened my testimony in the most unexpected way. On Saturday we went to go teach an investigator whose wife is a member. I LOVE his wife and I have come to love her husband as well...it was a long road coming to love him (I´ll explain later) but I had to humble myself to start loving him...it was rough. Anyways, he speaks really good English and loves to read in English, so I told him one day that I was going to get him a BOM in English and he said he would actually read it if I found him one...so of course I found him one and hes actually reading it!! Woo whoo!! So I was super excited to go and see how he was doing. So we get there and we start talking and bleh bleh bleh. His biggest doubt is the apostasy. He doesn´t believe that that could have happened along with many other doubts. Hes a really hard investigator with ridiculous doubts, but we´re working on it! So we´re there talking and I decided to show him the video The Great Apostasy. The story of how Wilford Woodruff found the church. It is such a powerful video, it makes me tear up every time I watch it! So I was stoked thinking that this was going to help him out a lot. We watch it and a spirit comes in so strong. And I know he felt something, I know he did. So the movie ends and I look at him and asked him how he felt during the movie. He looks at me and starts going off about how fabricated everything in the church is and goes completely crazy. He wouldn´t let me get a word in. I was so shocked, he was denying every single thing that I know he felt. So I kept trying to help answer his doubts but he just kept shooting me down. It made me so sad! I was starting to get so frustrated. I didn´t get mad, I didn´t yell. I got really sad, this man that I truly have come to love won´t except the one thing that can help him in this life. The only thing that can bring him happiness. So I sat and listened, and became more and more sad as time went on. He bashed and bashed and bashed on our doctrine and eventually I started to cry and couldn´t stop. I just started crying out of frustration. But as I started crying a scripture came to my mind JSH 1:25. And I remembered and the spirit testified to me that what I was teaching was true...so true, I cannot deny it. So I told him those words. I know it and I know that God knows it and I cannot deny it. I invited him to read the BOM and told him I loved him and that I hope he would soften his heart to accept the truth and we left. But the rest of the day and the next, the scripture lingered in my mind. I read it as this:
So it was with me. I had actually received an answer... and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had received my answer, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me,reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually felt? For I had received an answer; I know it, and I know that God knows it, and I cannot deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God, and come under condemnation.
I know that we are in the truth. That this is the ONLY true church upon the face of the earth. I know that Joseph Smith was and is a prophet of God and the he did indeed restore the church of Jesus Christ. I know it and I know that God knows it and I cannot deny it.
I love you all and pray for you every day. Stay strong and keep the faith.
With so much love,
P.S. you should watch this video. The actings not the best, but the spirit is :) It would make a goo d FHE video :) https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2010-07-003-the-great-apostasy?lang=eng